Blessings

Tuesday, May 19th, 2020

I went on a hike today with with my best friend. While it was a beautiful day, I realized it was the beauty of our conversation that really got me through. We went through the woods and changed paths. We ventured down a route that I hadn't taken before. The thing about friendship is, ours has been a long one. We have been friends since middle school, our friendship story is wild ... we became friends because I had a huge crush on a team mate of his, and who would have thought ten years later he'd still be the one I go to when it comes to men, boys, and relationships.

On our hike, while we were getting "lost" we realized that we always go on adventures together, we always seem to take untreked paths. The farther be got from where we began the more we began thinking about turning around. Is it worth turning around? Did we take the wrong turn at one of the forks in the road? Nah. We realized it is all about taking a different paths - we couldn't be lost, there was defiantly a way out. Plus neither of us wanted to turn around and go all the way back from where we came. So we stuck it out, kinda like life - we knew things were getting hard but we didn't want to go backward, we wanted to keep going forward to see where we would end up. And sure enough there was an opening we made it. Granted we were over a mile from where we thought we were, and nearly fell to our deaths twice (mir exaggeration lol) but still we did trip and he almost fell and broke his ankle twice.

The best part of our two hour long hike through the woods was talking about the things we had learned in the last few months. I hadn't seen him since New Years, and it sucked because we had been home in the same town. The crazy thing was this was the longest time either of us had been home in the same place, but hadn't seen each other. Quarantine is a crazy thing. But, we went for a hike and we got to really address the changes in both of our lives and talk about situations that occurred. What is great about talking to him, is we always pull our lessons from things that happen, we always end up taking away something that is apart of the bigger picture. But, we also get our perspectives and talk about our take aways.

Something he asked me really stuck with me. He asked me if I believed in right person wrong time. If you were to ask me that six months ago, I would have said no. Absolutely not. I would have said there was no such thing as right person wrong time. Why? Because I used to think if it was the right person then they would make it work no matter the circumstance. That they would fight and over come the challenges together. I used to think there was no such thing as wrong time, that timing shouldn't matter. Timing to me I felt was the choice, judgement, or control of when something should be done or happens. That timing was a particular point in time when something happens.

Welp, looking at life now. I would have to say I've changed my mind. I would have to say that I was wrong. I do in fact believe that there is such a thing as right person, wrong time. We dont know what life will through our way. We can't control everything that happens. The things I have experienced and went through, I never thoughts I'd have to face it, there really wasn't away to prepare for things. So, I do think there is a wrong time. A wrong time, where someone could be battling inner demons, someone could have something unresolved from their past. For me, I dated someone who struggles with addiction, and a shady past. I believe we met for a reason, but it was the wrong time. Not for me ... but for him. The wrong time because he was not capable of loving wholeheartedly.

It was a really hard conversation to have with my best friend, who had met the man I was dating. It is never easy to walk away from someone you love ... that is why heart break physically destroys people. It is painful, but that I why hope is something that people hold on too. If something is meant to be, it will be, it will work out. If something is supposed to happen, and someone is meant to be in your life - than they will. Sometimes they need to walk away for a while, before coming back. Sometimes we meet people not at their best, fulfilling their full potential and we need to watch them leave and walk away. In order for them to better themselves and improve. In that moment when they are full, and complete will they come back if it is the right thing.

I will say it depends. Honestly I dont think it happens all the time. I don't think right person, wrong time happens for everyone. But, sometimes it can happen. Six months ago my view would have been concrete, but now ... shaken, fuzzy, different. I defiantly think it can happen, that is why as humans we have hope, we hold the hope that things will find their way of working out, that what will be will be. Sometimes we meet people and they leave, but there is the chance that they will come back. Timing is not always perfect, and that is life. But, the only thing I know for a fact, is everything works out the way it is supposed to. Things have a funny way of working out, and it isn't always how we expect or want them to. Ya, we might not always like how they turn out, but life has a funny way of working out.

I know that the most important thing to do in life is to count our blessings. I am so blessed to have a friend like mine who would let me drag them on a 5.5 mile hike, get lost in the woods, and have conversations about beliefs, perspectives, and point of view. Sometimes it helps to talk things out with someone who had an outside perspective! It helps to get a neutral opinion and to see where they are coming from. It defiantly made me feel better to look at something a different way - it made me change my thinking because I was looking at somethings one way, instead of considering it being a different way. It was eye opening. I count my blessings everyday. But - I also know that I can say for a fact I do think right person wrong time is a possibility, and the only thing we have in life is hope that things work out the way it is meant to. So never give up or lose faith.