What Makes You Feel Calm?

Saturday, August 20, 2022

Recently I have decided I needed to take time to refocus myself. A-lot of things have changed in the last year, some good, some bad, and some unknown. You never know the outcome right away, sometimes you need the dust to settle in order to reflect and look back on it, same goes for looking forward and seeing what sits in the horizon.

I'm about to enter my third and final year of law school, nearing the end - but life has me feeling like I'm back beginning my first year of law school, in a personal sense. I used to think it was cliche when people said it was one step forward and three steps back, but that resonates with me. I feel like a lot has happened, and changed, but at the same time gone backwards reliving certain moments, having certain things reoccur. In a weird way life has away of coming full circle. I relieved a situation but this time the ending played out differently, it wasn't what I expected or intended - but it had a different ending.

I'm defiantly a different person because of how I respond and handle things now a days. Before I would have put up with it or over looked it just to 'keep the peace' but in reality I was disturbing my peace. I was letting someone push and cross boundaries that I was not okay with. Now I have none negotiable standards that I remind myself of as to not go back - thats on growth.

Now over the next 120 days I have the longest and hardest challenge for myself, and I'm excited about it. With that being said this entry is meant to reflect on what makes me feel calm. If you were to ask me in March I would say the pool, and swimming made me calm. Now a retired athlete my answer is slightly different. What makes me calm is breathing. Taking time to decompress and unload, to unwind, let the stress go and be able to recover as to not enter burn out mode.

I used to be the person pouring into other peoples glasses, always giving the last bit of myself away. Now I hold on to that and give back to myself to recharge. I no longer over pour into people so they are over flowing and I have nothing, I still haven't quite found anyone to pour into me, but thats always a work in progress I guess. But what clams me is being able to go for walks, and be outside recently the connection with outside has been very refreshing and recharging.

Anything that involved movement makes a difference, and when my body is happy my mind is happy and I am at peace which is a calming notion. What makes me calm is a cup of green tea in the morning, reading in the evening on the porch, or just being able to tell someone I care about how much I appreciate them and love them. I think when there is more gratitude in the world there is more kindness and with that comes happiness.

Calm is soothing, it is a sense of safety and security. For me it's the peace of mind, the ease of knowing it is what it is and there isn't anything I can do about it. I can live in the moment. I used to be so anxious over analyzing the pass, and even more anxious about the future. But than I realized I can't change the past it already happened, and I shouldn't worry about the future because it isn't promised. All I have is now in the present and that is all I have control over so I can't be stressing the little things. That has provided a huge sense of relief lately in order to be more calm about everything going on.

What it means to be calm is to slow down, take a breathe and a beat knowing it isn't that deep and I don't have control over the universe but I trust in its plan. Everything works out, the way its meant to we dont always see it or understand it but it'll happen the way its supposed to.

What makes you feel calm? What do you do to help you recenter yourself and reconnect with your mind and body, rather than living life like it's an out of body experience?