The Last Night Home

Friday, January 15th, 2021

Today I started the day like I do every Friday, with my weekly Covid test. For me it is important to be tested because I want to keep my family as well as myself safe. I also want to make sure it is safe for me to continue going to the gym and working out so it is a little thing to do, but it is something I like doing as a mindfulness thing.

I continued my rain of self care and went to get my eye brows waxed because I hadn't had them done since August when I started law school. I had gotten so accustomed to plucking them on my own, that I needed to get them done because I had let them go for way too long and it was just easier to have someone else tame the mess they became. After that I did a solid for my grandma and I went to the pharmacy to pick up medicine for my mother so she didn't have to go get it.

The Fun part of my day was creative and crafty. My grandma helped me sew t-shirts, that I wanted have there selves permanently cuffed so I didn't have to roll them up all the time when I went to wear them. I than cropped 3 of them which were mine, and I rubber banded all 5 of them (2 were for my mom) and I bleached dyed them! See I'm all about bleach dying patterns versus doing tie dye I never really got into that. But, anyway I got crafty and made sure I got them done.

Than I figured it was time to break my fast, so I cooked a late lunch of eggs because protein is everything and than it was time to scoot my ass to the gym for a lift. I had made the decision to do my 10 day lift program backward since I was getting tired of going 1-10 and stating back at 1. So now I am doing 10-1. This last rotation I did everything in 3 sets of 18. Today I changed it up and did 4 sets of 12. It really broke it up and I felt like I was working quicker between keeping my heart rate up. Plus some exercises that hurt with 18 reps didn't seem to kill as much at 12 reps so I was able to up the weight as well!

I ran into someone I knew from high school at the gym more times in the last 4 weeks than I did in the last 2 years. It was always nice to see this person, a friendly face in the gym always makes such a difference. Plus, it is nice to have someone to talk to between sets, someone to spot, or workout with. It was so nice to be able to reconnect, and what really mattered to me was how kind and respectful our conversations were to one another. Always trying to teach someone something new, always trying to see what new conversation topic will come up. What is the most validating about the experience is being told how good I looked, or how strong I looked out on the turf working. Honestly it is encouragement like that - that keep you pushing forward.

We aren't the same people we were two years ago, we respect one another, we care about how the other is going, and we are always encouraging and listen when the other one is talking. Never about one upping someone, we are always seem to catch up and pick up where we left off no matter the time that has passed. We haven't seen each other in two years, till we ran into each other at the gym on Christmas Eve, which coincidently was two years to the day. Its always a good motivator to keep pushing at the gym when you run into someone you know because you never know when they are watching or looking at what you are doing!

After the gym I went home and started my laundry, than my mom came with me to the grocery store so I could pick up a few things for my apartment when I go back tomorrow morning. We went on a little drive and than had a conversation about what I was feeling yesterday. She was telling me how much she wanted me to put myself back out there and try to find someone else. But, she did say - that sometimes people find people who remind them of someone else or that resemble them to fill the void and try to move on. But, they haven't dealt with the reasons there prior relationship didn't work. So, I feel content. I miss him, Apart of me will always love him, but for now he is no longer mine, and I have to let go of the idea of being with him, or having him come back.

I know I cant settle for the bare minimum. I deserve someone who is all about me, just like I am about them. Someone who treats me the way I should be treated. We all deserve love, and we deserve it from someone capable of loving us the way we love them. I love the time I get to spend with my mom because she always listens, and than she puts things into perspective and gives me amazing advice. She made a point that I dont have time for messy, I dont have time for bull shit - I have limited time, time to do anything besides work, study, and go to the gym. So someone needs to be worth my time .... or a friends with benefit to release the stress if you know what I mean once a week lol jk. But still she really made me not feel so sad about the situation, especially because she reminded me I took the time to work through the break up and heal. The ones who stay single the longest after a break up are the ones who loved the deepest, and then had the most to work through after it came to a close.

I know I've got a future to look forward to and I'm looking forward to seeing where my life takes me. I finished my laundry, and then packed my car to head back to Springfield. I'm all ready to go back tomorrow since I picked up a shift at work from 12-6. My plan is to get up around 615 leave the house at 640 and head to the gym for my final at home workout, and than around 9 start to head back to my apartment in Springfield. That way I have time to unpack my car, and get things ready to bring with me for work (like homework that I can work on while I am there, for class on Tuesday).

The great thing about work is that I am able to multi task whether I am working I can do homework, I can workout while on duty it really is the best of both worlds - but in this case I want one final workout in my hometown gym that I have gotten accustom working out in since December 18th! It feels good to be prepared, and ready to get back to the swing of things and into the groove and routine of my life back in Law School. I have priorities and I make time for those who make time for me. This break has been restful, but it has put things into perspective of what is important for me and what I focus my time on.

I'm going to miss being home with my mom and this has been so nice, being home with my mom. It was my longest winter break home because when I was living in London my time state side was short, when I was finishing my undergraduate - I had training trip and would have to leave to train. This time around I was able to workout and train at home and sleep - enjoying my family, my friends, and bettering my health both mentally and physically.

What is something you want to make time for? What is something you learned the hard way that you are happy you worked through? How can you improve yourself - in order to get what you want and deserve?