Growing Pains

Sunday, January 03rd, 2021

Today was rough, and not because it was crazy but because my body felt rough! I woke up in the same position I went to bed in, which I think is crazy. I had fallen asleep at 10 pm and woke up at 7:30 a.m. in the same, face down position my body had chose to get comfortable in the night before. But, I can't complain I had a really good night sleep! Though when I did wake up today I felt sore, tired, and my back was hurting me.

I went upstairs to make my morning cup of green tea, when I sat down at the coffee table with my parents contemplating a "rest day" at the gym. I was super tired, and I hadn't taken a day away from the gym since 12/25/20 and that was because the gyms were closed on Christmas due to the holiday - had they not have been I think I would have been there, and I say that with 85% certainty. I've been hitting the gym hard, like 3 hours a day nothing but stretching, weights, weights, and more weights. For the last 10 days or so I haven't done cardio, which has been good and bad.

See I prefer weight lifting because your body continues to burn calories after the fact, and I hate cardio because I feel like I'm not being as productive. But the thing is, by lifting so much all the time I'm not giving my muscles the time to heal, instead I have been breaking them down over and over again. So I got to the gym today ... even though I had considered not going at all, and I stretched did a dynamic warmup, I did my shoulder and my knee rehab for my injuries, and than when I was done - I went and walked a bit on the treadmill to get my steps in. See for me a rest day doesn't mean I give up being active and moving, instead I just tone it down, and cut back on what I choose to do. We need to listen to our bodies but we also need to keep moving forward toward our goals.

I know myself and even when I do need rest, I feel so guilty about it. Today, I felt guilty contemplating not going to the gym at all, and while I was there I felt guilty for not dry scooping pre-workout and getting in my life. Instead of listening to that inner voice of guilt and self sabotage I listed to my body and tried to give it what it was asking for, a break - even though I know mentally I couldn't give it a total break, I was smart about it. See when I dont exercise my anxiety grows and for me, it festers so I knew I needed to keep some sort of release. I also have gotten better at listening to my body - intuitive eating is so important! I feed it the water it is craving, the protein it is asking for, and the nutrients it needs to stay fueled.

I eat when I'm hungry and stop when I'm done. That doesn't mean I'm going crazy instead it means I am making better choices for myself, like tonight I had chicken, rice, and corn. While not the best vegetable it was a vegetable! I had the protein I needed and the slow release carb to keep my blood sugar level. I mainly focus on having a fruit, vegetable, and protein at any meal I sit down to have. Weirdly enough I didn't workout as long or as hard as I usually do and I burned half the calories as normal, but I still allowed myself to eat, that one thing I dont want to do is be mean and restrictive to my body!

I mentally need to work on not trying to be so strict, knowing I'm not perfect and it is okay to loosen up. I dont ever want to get to the point where I use exercise as punishment, because that is terrible to put your body through restrictive punishment. Plus the gym saved my life mentally and physically and I never want to be putting myself in a negative head space, so I am focusing on being okay with taking it easy, taking a day off, and treating my body the way it deserves, your body is your temple you should never be mistreating yourself, especially since you'd never let someone else mistreat you. Have the disciple and respect for yourself to take care of yourself, and that means rest days, days that you take it easy and lighten up.

Something I have started to do that I love is set my phone on the charger across the room, that way I dont go to bed with my phone and when the alarm goes off to wake me up in the morning I physically have to get up and turn it off. It makes going to be easier, staying asleep easier, and it is a more pleasant and enjoyable wya to wake up in the morning. Plus it has cut down on screen time for me being on my phone in bed, which disrupts my sleep and keeps me up at night.

It's a process, it is all about learning and well I'm not perfect but I am the type of person to always push myself to the next level sometimes I need to take a step back and slow down, I need to not always push myself at 100%, I want to get better and improve, but that also means enjoying the process and what comes with it along the way! It is growing pains, life isn't a one size fits all, what works for me won't work for someone else. What I do to remind myself when I know I need to slow down is that at least I got up and did something today because that is better than if I didn't do anything at all. Remember one step, one day at a time - do NOT be so hard on yourself, any growth leads you to progress!

What is something you tend to over do? What do you do when you are in that head space to remind yourself it is okay to slow down? Are you someone who enjoys the process or do you like appreciating the end result better?