Sad Reality

Tuesday, January 12th, 2021

Today was a hard day - and I think it was because I had a really rough time at the gym. I had gone straight after a doctors appointment and needed to get my workout done before I had class at 1 pm since I had a meeting after class there was no way for me to get to the gym in the afternoon. So I went and I was having a great lift. I took yesterday as an easy day and today my main focus was going hard - especially since I love lifting. Well I was in the middle of a circuit, I was doing 4 exercises back to back for 3 rounds of 18. I started with squats with a med ball throw against the well, then single leg V ups with a medicine ball (18 each leg), then big box step ups to help build better strength in my knees, and ended with elevated big box planks with a single are Dumbbell row. Once I finished the first round I was stocked it took be 12 minutes and I was excited because usually it takes me 15 minutes because I take rest between exercises but I literally banged them out back to back. When I was in the middle of the second rotation I felt eyes on me.

When I looked "up" from what I was doing and saw a couple (a boy and a girl, confirmed relationship - they were making out near the water fountain earlier ... which is odd no one who worked there said anything to them because like that would mean their masks were off ,.... but hey what do I know I'm just a customer and consumer at the gym but I digress) well this couple took the time out of their day to visibly point at me, and laugh - no one else was in the area and I made eye contact with them and even that didn't stop them. Look I get "being bigger" than other people. I get that you many want to point out that I am "fat" fine that is your opinion and that is your perception. You dont know me yet you've taken the time out of your day to label me. But anyway. It sucked like literally I felt like crying, and I almost did but I just kept working on the next thing on my life plan for the day because I had limited time to deal with it.

That doesnt mean it didn't bother me. It did I thought about it the whole time I was working out. It was on my mind the whole time. I almost went in the locker room to put my sweatshirt on top of my sports bra and leggings so I could hide and try to be invisible. But, I hadn't worked this hard to get to where I am to take those steps backward. I have worked so hard to be comfortable and confident in my skin, not to mention to be able to wear such an outfit while I'm out in public at the gym. What sucks is that the gym is meant to be a safe place. It is a place for people to be comfortable in working on themselves. We all can benefit from self improvement and people go to the gym to better themselves. It is there choice and it takes a-lot of mental toughness and effort to go to the gym.

It is easier to stay at home and do other things, it isn't as easy to sacrifice time and prioritize going to the gym and having that commitment and dedication. So for someone to just be so heartless and malicious, it is hurtful. I usually dont take things to heart like that because in reality all that matters is my opinion about myself at the end of the day. But I'll blame it being on my period that I was little more emotional than normal, and I was already feeling bloated that I was self conscious that I was more hurt by it. But honestly what is there to gain by making fun of someone, ridiculing them. What do you gain from giving someone else down?

See, there is no reason to be little someone, there is no reason to bring someone down. Actions just like words have consequences. For it, it hurt my feels, made me look at myself differently, and added to my already long list of insecurities. I already wasn't feeling myself because I felt bloated, and than to have someone mock me while I'm at the gym because I am a "bit bigger" hurt. I am at the gym working on myself, trying to get healthier and fitter. For me I have a thick skin and it'll roll right off my back - but I know for other people who have had or will be put in the situation I was today - they won't respond the same way I do. They will let That experience stop them from going to the gym, they will use it as their reason not to go back. But you cant, dont give them that power. You were at the gym bettering yourself, and no one can take that away from you - you are putting in the work it takes to create a positive change.

Ya it stung in the moment it happened, but haters are our motivators and I'll use it to fuel myself when I go to the gym tomorrow. It got me down because I am human, but I'm not going to let it keep me down. It just sucks that there are people out there who project their insecurities onto other people. There is nothing positive that comes out of shaming people, you shame people who you deem to be fat for eating, you make fun of them for being "lazy" if you see them - and than you turn around and when you see someone doing something to better themself physically you mock them for exercising! I dont get it - it actually makes me quite made, like how would you feel if you were in their shoes? How would you respond and reach? You dont know what that person is going through or has gone through - and your passing judgment on someone just because of how they look on the outside isn't right. You should think before you speak but more importantly think before you act. Actions have consequences and actions just like words have an impact on someones life.

The sad reality is that people pick on people, its human nature - that doesn't make it right. But this is a reminder to leave people alone - the gym is meant to be a safe, judgment free place that people can go to to better their health, become more confident and comfortable in their skin, and better themself working toward the goals they set out to achieve. There is no reason for it to be a negative place with bullies. People need to be kinder and to do better otherwise nothing will change, and these conditions won't improve for other people who experience this kind of behavior. No one is on display at a zoo, you should never point, taunt, or make fun of someone because of their size or their outward appearance- there is more to a person that is deeper then the surface area. The gym is a safe place for anyone to be accepted for doing what they need for themself!

Would you stand up for someone who experienced this? Would you say something to the bully? Would you think twice about what was wrong in this situation or intervene?